Category Archives: Memorial Minutes

When a member dies, it is common Quaker practice for the Meeting to write a “memorial minute” for the Meeting’s records. This is a brief report about the person’s life, similar in some ways to an obituary but with an emphasis on the person’s relationship with the Meeting.

Minutes of Meeting for Business, August 11, 2024

Minneapolis Friends Meeting Posted on by

Minneapolis Friends Meeting

Monthly Meeting for Business

August 11, 2024

 [Names and some information have been edited for posting on the web]

 In Attendance:  Stephen S – presiding clerk, Tom W – recording clerk, others in attendance in person (26), on Zoom  (14)

  1.  Silent worship  Clerk reflected on the World Plenary Session of Friends World Committee on Consultation that concluded this week in South Africa, where the focus was on “Ubuntu” – responding with hope to God’s call to cherish creation and one another.
  2. Agenda was approved
  3. Land Acknowledgement – Clerk shared that acknowledging the theft of land from indigenous populations around the world was a major focus at the World Plenary Session
  4. Minutes of July 14th Monthly Meeting for Business were Approved
  5. Ministry and Counsel (M&C)
  • Monthly Report   Lolly L – M&C received two requests for membership. They appointed two clearness committees who met with the candidates. M&C recommends Jules H and Deborah J for membership in Minneapolis Friends Meeting. Meeting enthusiastically and heartily APPROVED Jules H and Deborah J for membership in Meeting.
  • Annual M&C Report – Jane F.   A significant focus has been deepening the understanding and practice of vocal ministry within Meeting for Worship, which led to undertaking several initiatives to facilitate these efforts – conducting two mid-morning Q&A panels on centering in preparation for Meeting for Worship, and discussing norms or practices for Quakers and this meeting. M&C has sought ways to strengthen vocal ministry by sharing quotes in the bulletin, revising the speaker and closer instructions, and providing coaching, on occasion, around developing a spoken message.  They have explored ways to mentor those who may speak often and nurture others who may not speak often, or at all.
    • They created a Zoom screen message around centering and sharing out of the silence
    • They regularly prompt the committee to check in on member’s sense of the quality of worship.
    • M&C created three clearness committees resulting in three memberships in Minneapolis Friends Meeting, including the two being approved today.
    • To help attenders discern whether to seek membership, we developed resources (Quaker Basics) and guidelines to share with prospective members and introduced a concept of “membership mentors” who are “seasoned Quakers” who can help attenders navigate internal questions and seek outward sources on the path to discernment.
    • Challenges:
      • The ongoing concern that having two separate worship times inhibits us coming together as a community. In pursuing the idea of continuing the summer schedule all year, M&C sponsored a well-attended threshing session to discuss the idea of holding the summer schedule year-round on a limited experimental basis – having a single worship each Sunday, alternating unprogrammed and semi-programmed worship. The session concluded with the sense that running a modified summer schedule for worship year-round would not move forward.
      • M&C and Care and Counsel held a joint meeting to review concerns raised about an attender who had caused some to feel negatively about their interactions. The attender had been asked to participate in a clearness process on two separate occasions with the understanding that participating in, at least, the second session was necessary if they wanted to continue attending meeting for worship. The attender declined both clearness sessions and no longer participates.
    • Upcoming points of attention
      • Continue to work with Children and Families coordinator to ensure flexibility for activities for children and families is built into the life of Meeting.
      • Continue to explore ways to bring in new attenders, to welcome them into the community and to reach out to younger attenders, including those who are members of the LGBTQI+ community.
      • Continue to consult with the Conflict soiree group
    • Openness to the leading of the Spirit
      • M&C begins and ends each committee meeting with silence
      • We check-in with each other – setting a tone of caring for each other.
    • Discussion: Presiding clerk expressed his gratitude for all the work that M&C does. Friend complimented the great work done handling a lot of sticky issues – they were handled beautifully. Friends accepted the annual report with gratitude.

6.  Death and Memorial Committee Annual Report – co-clerks:Tom W and Barbara Z (presenter)    Death and Memorial Committee (D&M) is a subcommittee of Ministry and Counsel. When there is a death associated with Meeting, D&M assists M&C and Care and Counsel Committee in supporting the dying individual and their family from the time of death through the memorial service, reception, and beyond. D&M facilitates Mid-Morning programs on relevant topics such as advanced directives, green burials, aging and loss. We also have supportive materials that can be shared with those experiencing grief and loss.

  • Accomplishments:
    • Deaths and memorial services this past year and a half
      • Jack W – son of member Juliet N, d. 3/17/2023 Service 4/21/2023 at Hopkins Performance Art Center, included performances by multiple musicians and the North Dakota State University marching band
      • Louise B, wife of member Peter B, d. 9/1/2023 Service 4/13/2024
      • Tom H – a member, d. 6/10/2024 Service 7/13/2024
    • Other recent deaths
      • Darlene W – long-time attender and wife of Tom W, d.11/3/2023. Service in Bloomington, not under care of Meeting.
      • Caitlyn W – member and daughter of Scott Wright and step-daughter of Debbi H, 7/20/2022  Service held at Minnehaha Park, but not under care of Meeting. (This death may not have been previously recorded)
    • Other accomplishments:
      • Conducted a Service of Remembrance in 10/2023 to recognize and honor all who have experienced the recent loss of a loved one
      • 12/2023 Angela W gave a mid-morning program on green burials
      • Meeting has approved covering the costs of the technician when telecasting memorial services on Zoom. Volunteer Zoom hosts are still needed.
      • Post COVID restrictions, we have returned to having receptions as part of the memorial service
    • Challenges and upcoming points of attention:
      • Explore with M&C/Care and Counsel ways to offer longer-term support of surviving family members following the death of a loved one.
      • To provide child care during memorial services
      • To strengthen our relationship with Social Committee when assisting with receptions.
      • To develop skills and interests of committee members
      • Update our Guidelines and information sheets
      • Finalize topics for mid-morning programs
      • Involve more committee members in early stages of connecting with families and planning memorial services.
      • Review process of recording deaths associated with Meeting, not just of members but of others who have a connection to Meeting – their children, spouses, former members and long-time attenders.
    • Discussion: Friend expressed thanks for the work done by the committee. Carolyn believes that Peter B is still a member, not a former member as the report states. [The report was corrected] There was a question on some wording about a memorial service. [That has been modified] Sandy says we do need to focus on the anniversaries of deaths and holding families of the deceased in the Light. Committee co-clerk indicated that D&M will record in its’ annual report deaths of those individuals who are associated with the Meeting but are not members, since their deaths are not recorded in the Meetings official records.

7. Children and Families Annual Report—Judith J and Andrea S  The Children and Families Committee provides leadership regarding the programs and activities for Children, Youth, and their Families. It oversees the Religious Education Program and supervises the Children and Families Coordinator (CFC), along with ensuring the following takes place through participation in:

  • A program where children and youth experience the Inner Light
  • Experiences where each child feels important and loved
  • A quality religious education experience that fosters their spiritual development
  • Fostering community and friendships among youth
  • Young people connect to Meeting and the Quaker community within a safe and welcoming setting
  • A program that is based on Quaker diversity, respecting both universalist and theistic interpretations of Quaker principles.
  • 2023-2024 Accomplishments
    • Nursery attendance increased by 34% and elementary First Day School (FDS) attendance increased by 400%
    • MFM sponsored events, service projects, curriculum conflict skills and the upcoming August youth conference at MFM
    • Some events included: Welcoming kickoff event for FDS, Feed My Starving Children, Grandparents Day, Cirque du Soleil, visit to International Friends Church, Cookie Service Project, Game night, Youth Jam in Iowa, Twins Game in the Fall
  • Challenges: the continuing challenge is to get youth to participate in First Day School. The numbers have increased substantially from last year, but we still do not have many children participating. The biggest reason is that we don’t have a lot of families with children coming to MFM.
  • Points of Attention: An effort and plan are in place to recruit more children to the program. One example is the planned Twins game in August (took place last week), where children receive a free ticket, and parents pay a low-cost fee. The committee and the Children and Families Coordinator need the support of the Meeting to recruit and encourage participation by Children and Families in MFM.
  • Discussion: Friend expressed deep appreciation for the committee and the report but wanted to know more about how we are doing encouraging families with children to attend. Andrea – Cathy has a good plan and we should have a better idea after the activities scheduled for later this month. They encourage everyone to invite their friends and families, who are outside Meeting, to attend. Cathy has a plan for the upcoming year. Now that she has gotten her feet wet and know better what we want and where we are going. Friend thought going to the Twins game was a big success – a number of people attended from International Friends Church. She had additional ideas: using music to attract people to the meeting house, a church she used to attend had a very successful drama group, she suggested holding special camps to reach out to children, and to make sure there is always someone in the nursery. Is there nursery care during all special programming on Sunday mornings? Presiding Clerk said there is supposed to be nursery care during all activities on Sunday. There were three children in the nursery today. He encouraged her to forward her ideas to the Children and Families committee. He added that he had attended the Twins game and around twenty people participated, with at least three families from Meeting joining in. John S announced that the little free library that Meeting authorized has been painted by children in Meeting and will be mounted soon. Friends Accepted the report.  Clerk added that the goal of expanding our children’s programs and attracting families to Meeting is a journey. We need to continue to sustain and nourish the process.

8. Shepherd Scholarship Committee Annual Report—Allen G   The report is long, so he summarized it. [Recording clerk – some additional statements from the full report have been added for completeness] From the initial $67K invested in a legal Trust in 1977 by Roland and Zephra Shepherd to make annual scholarship grants to qualified individuals to pursue degrees at post-secondary institutions, the scholarship fund has grown to a current $229K, while having provided $245K in scholarship grants. These grants have been made to members and children of members of Quaker meetings of five years standing, with preference for individuals directly associated with Minneapolis Friends Meeting.  In recent years there have been two major changes. Last year, believing we have been taking the definition of membership too literally, the Scholarship Committee expanded the definition of recipients to include individuals who have not formally applied for membership but who have otherwise demonstrated a significant commitment to Quaker values and principles, through regular and sustained participation in activities and programs of a Quaker Meeting. The other significant change has been to move the investment funds from CD’s, which are very safe investments with easily calculated principal and interest – but very marginal returns – to bond funds and corporate stocks, which fluctuate more in value but provide a cash equivalence that may be available each year for scholarship awards. Under the terms of the Trust Agreement, disbursements for scholarship grants are made from interest only. Since its inception in 1977, Shepherd Scholarship Trustees have met their fiduciary responsibility by never selling an asset to fund a scholarship. Prior to the change in investment strategy, the Trustees followed a concept of Minimum Principal Amount and set this Amount in the Trust at $187,000, only paying scholarships out of the interest generated by the CD’s. Currently, Trustees lean toward conservative use of cash equivalent, weighing the option to reinvest some of the cash equivalent to enlarge the asset value of the Fund. The cash equivalent available for scholarships will be determined annually, often on or about March 31 of each year. The asset value of the fund has fluctuated over time – a high of $240K on 6/30/2021 to the current $229K on 6/30/2024. On 6/30/2023 it was at a low of $220K. We have not yet offered any scholarships in 2024.  Discussion: How much are the scholarships? It depends upon the income. Several years we had only $2500 to disburse among 10 recipients. A year ago, 3 applicants shared $10,500, split equally. In general, about $10,000 each year is available for the scholarships. There have been no applicants this year and there may be as much as $20K available. Friend asked if recipients have to be full time students. Could they just take a class? The scholarship has to be for a post-secondary education or trade school, but it does not need to be for full time education.  The original document said we could offer unspent scholarship money to William Penn College. The only exception – no money could be provided for athletic scholarships. Friend wanted to know how to apply.  A notice is usually posted in the bulletin, with instructions on how to access the application form. Since school starts in about a month, we should have started this in April. We dropped the ball. There is money available and we will get the information out as soon as possible. Friends accepted the report.

9. Memorial Minute for Tom H—   read by Marilyn J  [see attachments]  Friends accepted the memorial minute.  Friend asked if Tom’s husband will receive a copy of the minute. Yes.

10. Discernment around Meeting relationship and giving to Quaker affiliated organizations – Clerk  The budget we adopted in May eliminated all but two organizations that we normally fund. He is asking us to take some time, today, to begin discussing how we view our relationship to Quaker organizations and how that is to be reflected in our annual budget. We are funding Loaves and Fishes, $1300, and Quaker Voluntary Service, $4000. Budgeting for everything else has been put on hold, including Friends for a Non-Violent World. In 2015, our vision statement included the need to reach out to our community and our Quaker organizations. What is gained or lost in our connection to the wider Quaker community when we fail to contribute in a meaningful financial way?

Discussion:

  • The message this morning during worship showed how our inner leadings are necessarily connected to the wider world. Friend is concerned that Northern Yearly Meeting is not being funded – this is our first connection to the wider Quaker world. They would like to see our contributions increased.
  • It is one thing to talk about being connected with the wider Quaker community, but when the connection is financial, it directly impacts our budget.
  • FNVW is our local organization and they are in the process of selecting a new leader. We are enriched by these organizations – Northern Yearly Meeting, Friends for a Non-Violent World and Quaker Voluntary Service
  • American Friends Service Committee is the reason this Friend started attending Meeting, in the first place. These organizations provide valuable service in their outreach to the community – they get the word out. She supports any and all of the organizations we give to.
  • What do we get out of these connections? What will we lose if we do not support them? Her children have benefitted by connecting to a bigger circle of Quaker friends. Our way is not the only way. We give ideas to others. She supports giving to these organizations. It is like an uploading of her good intentions. These organizations are doing what she wants to be doing.
  • The talk is about Ubuntu. We have our limitations. Is there a process to give to specific organizations if Meeting isn’t able to give?
  • Clerk- this is the role of Stewardship
  • Where would I be if not for these connections to these organizations that connect us around the world? Where would we be without Friends World Committee on Consultation – which is not on our list, but is so important to Quaker outreach to the world and the greater community – or Friends General Conference? So much of what she knows about Friends has come from activity with FGC. It is good to be thinking about what we gain through these relationships.
  • She is onboard with all these testimonials. They have been life changing for her, but if we cannot afford it – that is what we are facing. So, how do we afford it? She believes we can find a way, but we have not found it, yet
  • There is a time and season for everything. We are addressing the issues. It is not our desire; it is the means. Some organizations specify what we should give. Maybe we give less, but still give. Can we support all the organizations all the time? That is the question…. We confuse giving money with having a relationship. There is something to be said for nurturing the whole Meeting. It can be frustrating if our energies are going to other organizations when our own system of nurturing is broken. We don’t have someone from our Meeting making the personal connection to FWCC or FGC. Would this enliven us if we had stronger connections?
  • Friend contributes to his own national organizations. If we knew about contributions made by individuals in Meeting, it would inform us better about what MFM could do. The Alternative to Violence project is an example. It changes things all over the world. What are our individual contributions and how are they connected to what the Meeting can do? And what about adding AVP to the list or organizations Meeting contributes to?
  • We may need more seasoning on this before acting. Could the appropriate committee report on ways to raise money to support these organizations?
  • I envision an image of a tree – organizations are the branches. Some are the soil in which we are planted. Some are the water. They are concerned that we are not contributing to Northern Yearly Meeting. It would be good to brainstorm ways to raise the money.
  • When Friend contributes to Meeting, he hopes that it goes to enriching the Meeting. When the Meeting contributes to other organizations it removes some of the responsibility we have, as individuals, to act.
  • Clerk – Do we need to be involved in these organizations to support them? Can we raise the money in our budget? What organizations do we need to support? FGC, FNVW – what is our criteria to choose what to support?
  • Friend asked if Peace and Social Concerns was the proper committee to determine the organizations we give to? Is this too much for them to do?

Clerk brought the discussion to a close.

11. Correspondence and Announcements – Clerk  On August 24 there will be an all-day conference at the meeting house, Good Times Youth Conference. They are looking for donations – pizza sauce, pepperoni, cheese and pizza veggies.

  • 3rd Sunday Sept 15 is start of Fall schedule
  • Clerk acknowledges the wonderful spirit evidenced in the meeting – he notices as clerk.

 

12.Closing Worship

ATTACHMENTS

Tom H – Memorial Minute

This minute records the love and grace of God as shown in the life of Tom H.

Tom H became a member of Minneapolis Meeting in 2019. A quiet man with a perpetual good-natured twinkle in his eye, Tom was not widely known. His work schedule as a night nurse in a psychiatric ward could limit his participation in Meeting life, though he served ably on the Adult Program Committee and Care of Unprogrammed Worship sub-committee. Despite the limitations on his physical involvement, Tom once said that he valued, and felt encouraged and connected, to the worship that was happening at the meetinghouse on Sunday morning – even if he was at work.

It was this kind of soul which was Tom’s greatest gift to the Meeting and the individuals who knew him. Tempered in the furnace of pain, want, and disconnection in his family of origin, Tom developed a purified heart that pulled him to work with society’s marginalized; those without home or family; “the strays” as he put it in his self-written obituary. In his years with Catholic Worker, nurturing and supporting LGBTQ youth, in his work in psychiatric healthcare, and in his marriage to his devoted husband Paul, he collected a loving family of people who encouraged his connection and service to love. His cancer diagnosis heightened his gratitude for every breath and deepened his love for those in his life. Close friends or peripheral acquaintance – we all felt precious to him.

Tom H died on June 10, 2024. We give thanks for the gift of Tom’s life and are grateful for his example. Interactions with him were a call to love and profound gratitude.